Partner Caught Cheating: What Should We Do?
Cases of infidelity are not new and always remain a frightening specter in a relationship, especially if the couple is in a long-distance or LDR relationship. Ironically, individuals who have previously cheated are more likely to repeat such behavior after being forgiven. So, when a partner is caught cheating, what should we do?
Is Cheating a Habit? According to research by psychologist Kayla Knopp from the University of Denver, individuals are three times more likely to repeat infidelity if they've engaged in it before. However, many factors influence this, and not everyone who has cheated will repeat the mistake. Nevertheless, some individuals, once caught cheating, never repeat it. Choosing Therapy's website mentions that cheating can become a habit if the perpetrator has specific characteristics, such as having a narcissistic personality, no remorse for their infidelity, being flirtatious, or having insecurities that lead them to cheat to boost their self-confidence.
Moreover, there are several reasons why infidelity can become a habit, such as:
- Easily getting bored with a partner
- Craving affirmation and attention
- Having childhood trauma like experiencing parental divorce or violence
- Fear of commitment and distrust in marriage
- Having relationship issues or poor communication with the partner
- Addiction to the thrill and excitement experienced during cheating
- Having a high sexual drive
Recommended Steps When Your Partner Cheats
Drawing from Very Well Mind, here are the steps to consider when discovering that your partner has cheated:
Accept and Acknowledge Your Feelings: You might experience various negative emotions like shock, anger, sadness, disappointment, and more. Never deny these feelings; acknowledge them and don't expect them to disappear soon.
Avoid Seeking Revenge: Wanting revenge to punish a cheating partner is natural. However, seeking revenge may provide temporary satisfaction, trapping you in endless anger.
Focus on Yourself: Victims of infidelity often face tough times. If you're experiencing this, make sure to focus on self-care, including eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities you enjoy.
Avoid Blaming Anyone: Blaming yourself, your partner, or the third party won't change the situation. Doing so will only waste your time and drain your energy.
Protect Children: If you have a family and children, ensure they don't suffer due to your partner's infidelity. Even if you decide to divorce, ensure your children's rights are upheld.
Consider Counseling: Before deciding to separate or forgive your partner, consider counseling and consulting with a professional. Relationship/marriage counselors are neutral parties who can provide the best advice.
Plan Ahead: Regardless of the decision made, develop well-thought-out plans for the future. For instance, if you choose to separate, plan where you'll live, your finances, and child custody.
Health Testing: Consider undergoing health tests upon discovering your partner's infidelity. These tests aim to prevent sexually transmitted diseases that your partner might have exposed you to.
Infidelity is a significant challenge in any relationship. Coping with its aftermath requires careful consideration of emotions and decisions for the future.