Feeling Tired in Your Relationship? 5 Signs It's Time for a Break!
In relationships, feeling tired isn't uncommon. It's natural for either one or both partners to experience this. But as a couple, it's your responsibility to address this fatigue and the moments of weariness to keep your relationship going strong.
If you notice these signs, it's time to evaluate your relationship with your partner. This might be a turning point, so fight for it and don't take it lightly!
1. Feeling Misunderstood
Perhaps you feel loved only under specific conditions or pretend to be someone you're not around your partner. This can hinder genuine emotional intimacy, leaving you feeling empty over time. Moreover, the idea that your partner won't truly love the real you if you let them see it starts to emerge.
According to clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., "You might be pretending to be someone you're not, hiding important parts of your personality, or even feigning interest in their hobbies and activities to make them happy, letting them dictate how you spend your time."
2. Constantly Daydreaming
If you or both partners frequently entertain thoughts that the relationship would be fulfilling only if certain things fundamentally changed, that's a red flag. Relationships go through rough patches, but if constant improvement feels necessary, true satisfaction might always seem out of reach.
"One or both partners might start living in a hypothetical future that may never be achievable, rather than living in the here and now, hindering the possibility of true happiness. If your relationship feels 90% good but 10% constantly bothersome and unsolvable, it could be a sign that you'll never truly align," Bonior explains.
3. Constantly Wishing for Change
You might have spent years envisioning a future with your partner, but it's a different version than the one you have now. Fantasizing that they'll magically become more ambitious, kinder, or more helpful at home is common. You may often imagine that you'll be ready to commit when they become more responsible.
"Don't get stuck in commitment to an unrealistic version of your partner. Do you want to be with your partner as they are, right now and here? That's more important," Bonior emphasizes.
4. No Positivity Left in Memories
Every relationship has its downsides, but if you actively try to recall positives and come up empty-handed, it's time for a rethink.
"If you can only recount negative or bad memories about the relationship, it might mean that the negatives outweigh the positives. When you constantly feel unhappy or dissatisfied, it's hard to recall happier moments," says marriage and family therapist Jordan Madison.
5. Holding onto Resentment
Harboring resentment toward your partner for their mistakes can signal an unhealthy relationship. If left unaddressed, this resentment can erode your relationship, leaving you tired of what you once cherished.
"Maintaining anger and resentment takes more energy than letting it go. Resentment is a self-sabotaging form of self-protection that damages because its goal is to maintain distance. Being stuck in the past because your partner did something hurtful and you haven't forgiven them constantly sabotages your present," explains psychologist Mary Ann Mercer.
Feeling tired in a relationship isn't surprising. It's human to feel tired at times. But it's a feeling you must combat to keep your relationship healthy and enduring.