5 Things You Shouldn't Say When Arguing with Your Partner
In maintaining a relationship, arguments are normal occurrences resulting from differences in opinions between you and your partner. However, during arguments, there are several things that you and your partner should avoid saying, as they can worsen an already sensitive situation.
Here are five things that you and your partner should refrain from saying during arguments,
1. Calling your partner with harsh expressions
When someone is arguing with their partner, it's natural for emotions to flare up. However, in some cases, amidst such heated arguments, people might call their partners with inappropriate names.
This should be understood as an inappropriate action. Regardless of your emotions, it's essential to avoid such statements.
Statements that might imply that your partner isn't intelligent or calling them names with a very derogatory tone should be avoided. Such phrases can exacerbate the situation.
"Using derogatory names and negative labels imply criticism and insult," says Anna Aslanian, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder and director of My Therapy Corner, as cited by Kate Couric.
"They attack the character of the person you love, making them feel bad about themselves and sending a message that you are better than them. Connection and intimacy cannot happen if someone feels degraded like that," she adds.
2. Making assumptions
During arguments, you might make assumptions about various wrongdoings by your partner. For instance, when they are busy with work and seemingly less attentive to you, but you accuse them of cheating, assuming they never cared about you.
Of course, these assumptions are not accurate. If you do this, you're just caught up in a whirlwind of assumptions that don't improve the situation.
"You should avoid using the words 'never' or 'always'," says Gayane Aramyan, LMFT, a Los Angeles-based relationship specialist, as reported by Self.
"These absolute things are usually not based on facts," she continues.
3. Saying you're okay when you're not
During arguments, you might feel uncomfortable, tired, and emotions might overflow uncontrollably. Eventually, you might choose to say you're okay just to quickly end the argument.
This might make you seem strong, but in reality, pretending to be okay will only make communication harder for both of you.
"You're saying you're okay when you're not is passive-aggressive communication," says Aslanian.
"Empowerment comes from clearly stating what hurts you and what you need right now," she adds.
4. Attacking your partner
Another thing you should avoid saying during an argument is retaliating with all the negative remarks your partner has made. Being offensive in an argument won't lead to resolution; instead, it will escalate emotions further.
Attacking your partner also means that neither of you is able to open up communication. Even if you ultimately feel unappreciated, showing elegance by staying silent and leaving rather than responding to everything they say might be a better approach.
5. Asking for a breakup without careful consideration
When someone is angry and upset, they usually find it challenging to think clearly. It's undeniable that from such situations, someone might impulsively decide to end the relationship. However, this is done without much consideration.
Deciding to end a relationship when emotions are running high will likely lead to regretful moments. Instead of making decisions in the heat of the conflict, maybe take a break for a while.
Arguments are inevitable in a relationship's journey. Therefore, it's crucial to remember these five things to avoid saying them during an argument with your partner!